then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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