I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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