the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
