Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
