so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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