You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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