I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
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just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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