We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize