Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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