But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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