Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My balls are so social today.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
