My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
