I wanna passion pit in your ass
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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