No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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