Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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