he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
love makes seman taste better
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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