highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You are a genius and a whore.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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