Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
