Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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