Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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