Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
