I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
