Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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