I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Randomize
