It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
