WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you inspire me to be a worse person
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
