What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
