then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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