Cold hands, warm shart.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
