Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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