do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
