They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
