sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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