But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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