my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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