Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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