just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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