is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
