Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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