Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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