so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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