smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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