Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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