Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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