What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
