It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
