Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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