College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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