My room smells like vodka and shame
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
