she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
