We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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