Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
