So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
