lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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