was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
