I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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