Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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