Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
