i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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